I've never been that friend who calls all the time and wants to hang out. I'm bad about keeping in touch with people, especially those that I don't see often in my day-to-day life. I'm mostly just a homebody. After a long day at work, I just want to go home and do NOTHING (well, as much NOTHING as I can do with two kids!).
After having Maddy, I lost touch with a lot of my kid-less friends. I was busy with a baby who screamed almost 24/7, so calling/texting/FBing became harder and harder. I didn't blame them, I understand that friendship is a two-way street, and I certainly wasn't putting in much effort. I kept up with what people were doing through FB and the occasional post or message.
Sometimes I would say, "We should get together sometime," or "I miss you, let's do something soon!" It was always just a vague suggestion, I didn't really make any set plans. To be honest, as much as I miss my friends, I didn't figure we'd have much to talk about. I didn't figure they would want to hear all about my kids, and really, they make up about 85% of my conversation topics these days. I was afraid there would be a lot of awkward silence while we tried to find some common ground to talk about. Well, I'm happy to say I was wrong. I misjudged my friends, and I'm sorry I did!
I recently got dinner with a friend from high school. We were best friends for a long while, and she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. She was one of those friends who I could call when needed, and she would do what she could for me, no questions asked. Our lives are at very different places these days, and I was afraid that I'd bore her to death with Maddy and Katelyn stories while we ate. From the minute she walked into the restaurant, we talked just like we always did. I told her about the kids, updated her on our families, and talked about my job. I listened while she told me about school, her family, dating, and traveling. We talked and talked until Joe sent me a text that a certain little 7-month old was having a rough time and asking when I'd be home. It was so nice to visit with her, hopefully we'll get together more often.
This past week, a friend from my Cafe days sent me a text asking if I wanted to meet up for lunch this week. It'd been at least 1.5 years since I'd seen her (stupid, really, since she works across the street from me!). Tara and I met up with her on Tuesday. Just like with my other friend, we all talked non-stop for the whole hour. It didn't seem awkward, and it didn't seem like it'd been THAT long since we talked. It was so nice to catch up with her, and we're planning to do it more often!
Spending time with these friends has shown me 3 things:
1) My friends are awesome. There's a reason they're my friends, and it's because they're great people who honestly care about ME. That means that they genuinely want to hear about my kids (although they might not want to hear all about potty training or poopy diapers).
2) I need to take time for myself more often. It was nice to have those few hours with friends, especially the dinner (since lunch is usually kid-free anyway!).
3) I need to be better about staying in touch with my friends. There is no reason for YEARS to go by without me seeing them!
After having Maddy, I lost touch with a lot of my kid-less friends. I was busy with a baby who screamed almost 24/7, so calling/texting/FBing became harder and harder. I didn't blame them, I understand that friendship is a two-way street, and I certainly wasn't putting in much effort. I kept up with what people were doing through FB and the occasional post or message.
Sometimes I would say, "We should get together sometime," or "I miss you, let's do something soon!" It was always just a vague suggestion, I didn't really make any set plans. To be honest, as much as I miss my friends, I didn't figure we'd have much to talk about. I didn't figure they would want to hear all about my kids, and really, they make up about 85% of my conversation topics these days. I was afraid there would be a lot of awkward silence while we tried to find some common ground to talk about. Well, I'm happy to say I was wrong. I misjudged my friends, and I'm sorry I did!
I recently got dinner with a friend from high school. We were best friends for a long while, and she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. She was one of those friends who I could call when needed, and she would do what she could for me, no questions asked. Our lives are at very different places these days, and I was afraid that I'd bore her to death with Maddy and Katelyn stories while we ate. From the minute she walked into the restaurant, we talked just like we always did. I told her about the kids, updated her on our families, and talked about my job. I listened while she told me about school, her family, dating, and traveling. We talked and talked until Joe sent me a text that a certain little 7-month old was having a rough time and asking when I'd be home. It was so nice to visit with her, hopefully we'll get together more often.
This past week, a friend from my Cafe days sent me a text asking if I wanted to meet up for lunch this week. It'd been at least 1.5 years since I'd seen her (stupid, really, since she works across the street from me!). Tara and I met up with her on Tuesday. Just like with my other friend, we all talked non-stop for the whole hour. It didn't seem awkward, and it didn't seem like it'd been THAT long since we talked. It was so nice to catch up with her, and we're planning to do it more often!
Spending time with these friends has shown me 3 things:
1) My friends are awesome. There's a reason they're my friends, and it's because they're great people who honestly care about ME. That means that they genuinely want to hear about my kids (although they might not want to hear all about potty training or poopy diapers).
2) I need to take time for myself more often. It was nice to have those few hours with friends, especially the dinner (since lunch is usually kid-free anyway!).
3) I need to be better about staying in touch with my friends. There is no reason for YEARS to go by without me seeing them!